How to increase pleasure on your own
When going through a global pandemic, it can be hard to keep up with the constant changes going on.
Many people are still experiencing lockdowns and harsh restrictions, unable to see friends, family and even sexual partners. While we’re forced to stay safe and remain indoors, our sex lives are put on the backburner.
With so many stressful situations that keep popping up left, right and centre, it’s difficult to manage our own mental health when we’re tuned into a 24-hour news cycle and continually keeping rules like social distancing at the forefront of our mind!
Especially if you’ve experienced isolation or quarantine, you might be feeling a bit emotionally flat and stuck. We’re not meant to be closed within four walls for long periods of time, but we have a few ideas for you to pass the time and take the stress away.
When it comes to solo play, you’ll find your physical, emotional and mental wellbeing hit the reset button when you start to get down to business.
It can feel like your problems are melting away as your mind drifts off into whatever fantasy world you love to be in
With masturbation, it can feel like your problems are melting away as your mind drifts off into whatever fantasy world you love to be in – plus release of the love hormone will not only help you sleep better, it also improves your mood and brings you back in touch with your body.
If you’re feeling stuck on ideas or just want to add more pizazz to your solo play routine, we’ve come up with 10 ways to increase your self pleasure.
1. Setting the mood
Sometimes all you need is a little flick of the bean to help you fall asleep, and while masturbating for pure convenience is well and good, self-pleasure can give you more benefits if you take a little more time to get into the mood.
Taking yourself on a sexual journey, especially if you’ve had a bad day and are not feeling your sexy self, finding things that aren’t sexual that can become sensual will help you get there.
Something really simple is having a playlist that has sensual sounding music to take your mind to another place
Something really simple is having a playlist that has sensual sounding music to take your mind to another place and speak to your inner goddess (or the like).
If you’re more into touch than sound, try running a hot bath or shower to bring your body to a warm, gentle temperature combined with the scent of your favourite soaps and oils.
2. Dress sexy for yourself
You can easily put yourself in a sexy mood just by changing the clothes you have on! You may not feel so crash hot sporting a hoodie and tracksuit bottoms, compared to wearing your lacy and racy lingerie.
Pop on your naughty nighties and dress sexy for you! Whether you love a little chemise that feels good or want to raunch it up with some leather and vinyl fabrics, you need to feel sexy and gorgeous in your own skin.
Pop on your naughty nighties and dress sexy for you!
Feeling confident starts from within, and a little lingerie can help along the way – spritz yourself with your favourite perfume and take a look in the mirror, you’re a goddess darling!
Same applies to men too. Why not put on some sexy wear and your favourite cologne, just for you.
3. Touch of your hands
Find somewhere comfortable that helps you relax without holding any tension in your body unnecessarily. Allowing yourself to touch parts of your body that aren’t sexual in nature can help you focus inward. From there you can start to slowly take off your own clothes and feel the freedom of your bare skin.
Focusing on your senses, especially touch, smell and sound, can calm your mind and help you leave the day behind
Bringing a sensual feel to your self-pleasure routine will help stimulate your senses and bring your mind into your body.
Focusing on your senses, especially touch, smell and sound, can calm your mind and help you leave the day behind.
Using massage oils to rub your neck and shoulders or lighting up a few candles will help you find your centre. Your brain will start to get the signal and give you goosebumps, ready to explore your body without going straight for the pleasure centre first.
4. Bring a new sensation to your repertoire
While you might have a favourite toy or be happy using your own hand, adding an extra sensation to your solo play can help you bring it from a mild 8 to 10, 10, 10’s across the board!
Adding an extra sensation to your solo play can help you bring it from a mild 8 to 10, 10, 10’s across the board
Incorporating arousal gels isn’t just for playing with a partner, but it helps you feel things you’ve never felt before on your own terms.
Not all sexual aid products are made equal and depending on what kind of sensations you like down there, you should experiment and find what makes you go ga-ga. There are plenty of options for him too.
5. Sex positions aren’t just for partnered play
Something as simple as changing up the position in which you masturbate can make a world of difference.
While laying down with your legs spread like an eagle is great if you’ve had a long, hard day and just want to lie down, occasionally changing your position can be the difference between one orgasm and four orgasms.
Occasionally changing your position can be the difference between one orgasm and four orgasms
Try your solo play standing up, legs spread apart and holding onto something stable, because you’ll need the stability for where you’re going!
If you’re feeling vulnerable standing upright, why not have one leg on a chair or the bed, or take it to the shower and put your suction cup, shower-ready dildo to use?
Trying new positions by yourself also gives you the upper hand when you do meet up with a sexual partner; you can communicate what you like and enjoy sex in a new way.
6. Get wet… in the shower
Never underestimate the pressure of a good shower head! You would have seen it in plenty of movies and pop culture references but trust us when we say that it works.
While you’re in the bath or shower and you have a removable tap or head, start by using it to brush your nipples and stimulate your senses.
Once you’re all warmed up, take the head down south and angle it to your liking. Change the pressure how you see fit; it’s also a great way to experiment with temperature while relaxing in the water.
7. Mirror, mirror on the bed
Another way to get super comfortable with your solo play and take the awkwardness out of sex (which can happen to the best of us) is by getting to know how your body looks while feeling pleasure.
There’s nothing to be ashamed of and your body is a temple – by looking into the mirror while you solo play, you are telling yourself “I am sexy and worthy of pleasure”.
By looking into the mirror while you solo play, you are telling yourself “I am sexy and worthy of pleasure”
If you want to start small, use a handheld mirror and have a look down there while using your other hand to work your new favourite clitoral vibrator or flick the bean old-school!
When you’re ready to get sexy in the mirror, position yourself in front of it at home and use it to look at your amazing body while pleasuring yourself – sometimes we are our own biggest turn ons!
8. Bringing in the old faithful
Sometimes, traditional masturbation can be hard work especially on those forearms and our fingers if they are already worked to the bone after a long day of typing emails and checking our phones.
That’s when you need to bring in the reinforcements – if you’re a seasoned stimulator or new to the vibrator game, every vulva is unique and has different needs when it comes to self-pleasure. Same goes for the penis and backdoor – his or hers.
Every body is unique and has different needs when it comes to self-pleasure
Some like vibration with sonic waves on the clitoris or use remote-controlled pleasure beads for a deeper sensation, while others prefer to hit two places at once with a g-spot rabbit vibrator for that extra oomph!
For bodies with a penis, there are vibrating and non-vibrating masturbators that can have a neutral entry point, or resemble one of your favourite orifices.
Whatever kind of toy you’re into, find something that works for your unique, beautiful body and gets your rocks off!
9. Make it a pillow palace
Give into your bed and let it swallow you whole! Instead of throwing your pillows off the bed when you’re getting ready for solo play, why not use them to your advantage?
Grab a few pillows and prop one under your hips to give another level of depth to your self-pleasure. Even using one to straddle and provide extra friction down there can make it feel extra saucy.
10. Change it up every once in a while
If you’ve become a little reliant on your vibrator or dildo, you may like to leave it in the drawer on occasion.
Of course, your toys are fantastic and without a doubt take you to a killer orgasm every time, but it’s also fun to bring it back to basics by using your fingers and hands to stimulate yourself and feel a longer lasting pre-orgasm sensation.
When you’re ready to bring back the toys go for it!