Can Sex Toys Save My Relationship?

5 tips to increase relationship satisfaction

You’re either in one, wishing you were in one, getting over one, or wishing the one you’re in was better. If you identify with any of the above, what you’re about to read can help all stages of relationships.

Gone are the days where ‘adult playthings’ are obvious or only to be found in a dark and shady store you’d be nervous to step in and equally fearful of being discovered. Nowadays you can shop online and find a myriad of discreet and well-designed toys that will have you curious and excited to learn about.

Then along came COVID-19, where more of us had to either learn to self-pleasure or learn to get along with the person we were locked up with in lockdown. Adult stores had an influx of orders and it was all for a very healthy reason: to save a relationship! It might even be the relationship you’re having with yourself.

We hear it all too often though, that partnerships fall in and out of synch. One person might be working night shifts and the other during the day.

Another example is when a couple has just not got the same routine anymore. One is waking in the night to feed the new baby or another is experiencing more stress than usual. Their sleep patterns are no longer synchronised and they feel like they’re starting to drift. Their schedules no longer align. They’re like passing ships in the night.

We all know that when the sexual intimacy leaves in a relationship, the connection and strength in a relationship can start to decline.

We all know that when the sexual intimacy leaves in a relationship, the connection and strength in a relationship can start to decline

This isn’t always because of badly synchronised lives. It could also be a myriad of health reasons.

Stress is the biggest cause of lack of libido. In fact I talked about libido in my dating book called #instalovers which is also packed with libido-fueling recipes.

Stress can cause a body to be filled with cortisol. This stress hormone changes your mind and body in ways that ironically stop you from experiencing the very thing you may need to help you destress: sexual pleasure itself! Having said that, we need to create an environment for the couple to want to feel safe about getting back on that rollercoaster called ‘intimate relations’.

You see, there are five things that can help you save your relationship:

Relationship tip 1

Get back in alignment with your schedules and create a tech-free and work-free time where you’re just focused on each other.

Relationship tip 2

Try to help each other relax with a sensual massage. Helping your partner to relax can actually turn into a stronger bond and better sex, but sometimes you will need help, inspiration and oils or lubricants.

Relationship tip 3

Discover play with a partner. You might need to create a safe space for your partner to open up. Perhaps it’s you who has also been holding on to some stress, built up resentment or anxiety and feelings? Either way, and whoever it is, it’s going to need to be discussed. The best way to get someone to open up is to help them feel safe with you and for them to know you’re listening without judgement.

When your partner or you feel heard, you’re going to be more open to talking about sexual needs and sexual desires

For a relationship to start slipping, it’s because they’ve had a period of time where communication hasn’t been great. When your partner or you feel heard, you’re going to be more open to talking about sexual needs and sexual desires. This is where you may like to enter a discussion about sex toys and start to communicate desires, needs and wants. Your relationship may already have good communication and the one think missing is just getting it on!

Why not just shop online yourself and leave the post addressed to them? It’s always nice to receive a surprise in the mail that isn’t a bill! A sex toy that’s for the both of you, but addressed to the other party is going to be a little fun.

Relationship tip 4

Discover play on your own. What if you just cannot get your partner’s attention? What if they’re going through something emotionally? Perhaps your partner is having a health challenge or is away and you’re having a long-distance relationship?

All of these things require you to start to discover self-pleasure in order to maintain the closeness of your relationship in intimate scenarios.

You know you’re in love with your partner and the icing on the cake is the sexual pleasure, but if that’s gone, you just might need to discover a vibrator. They’re not like you think. These days there are so many discreet looking toys that would even look nice on your bedside table. They’re less obvious and so effective when it comes to pleasure.

Relationship tip 5

Use roleplay and costumes. It might be difficult for a person to open up in real-life situations, let alone intimacy, but for some, role play where you’re acting out an alter ego or a character you can relate to, can help you express yourself better.

Marriages and relationships can really be saved with costumes and fun dress ups. It allows you to both feel safe, like it’s someone else asking for those desires

This is where marriages and relationships can really be saved with costumes and fun dress ups. It allows you to both feel safe, like it’s someone else asking for those desires. In actual fact, it is! It’s Wonder Woman or the Real Estate agent. You’re going to start experimenting with new roles in attitudes of being submissive or in control, when you’re playing doctors and nurses or good cop, bad cop.

This level of fun and intimacy in roleplay is a way of sharing your deepest fantasy without having to feel too vulnerable. Sometimes a little acting out and roleplay can help you feel closer as you see your partner in a different light.

How can all this save my relationship from falling apart?

Think about all the fun you’re going to have! At the very least you’re inspiring quality connection and communication now. It’s a step in the right direction.

Additionally, if you’re not ready to be so open with your sexual partner just yet, you’re at least taking care of your own needs. We all need to ‘eat’ and will all have a sexual appetite at some point. Whether our appetite matches theirs or not is exactly when sex toys can come in handy! It takes the pressure off your partner to always have to perform.

Sex toys take the pressure off your partner to always have to perform

It’s going to help them to watch you handling life on your own. It’s always an empowered thing especially when women take charge. In fact, it’s a real turn on! The very thing you no longer need your man or woman for, might actually turn them on again and get them back in the love seat.

Enjoy your roleplay, sex toys, communication and newfound connection. The main thing to take away from this is that the sex toys are guaranteed to increase satisfaction. When both parties are satisfied, you’re going to feel a whole lot happier in general.