Choosing your very first toy is very exciting! But it’s very easy to get overwhelmed with the sheer variety of options available. Out of the thousands of products available, how do you pick the right one for you? Our team of experts have put together this quick-start guide, full of tips and things to consider that’ll help you get the perfect toy out of the thousands available.

Are you looking for internal penetrative stimulation or external stimulation to help you orgasm? If you’re after external stimulation, try a massage wand or bullet vibrator. Vulva owners may want to consider a clitoral vibrator, and penis owners have a wide range of cock rings, strokers and masturbators to choose from.

For anything penetrative, start small. It’s very tempting to buy the biggest size out there, but size is something you have to work your way up to and there’s nothing worse than buying an amazing new toy and never being able to use it because it hurts too much.

For beginners, we suggest nothing longer than 6 inches (approximately 15cm) and nothing wider than 1.5 inches (approximately 4cm) in width. Choosing a toy of these dimensions allows you to be comfortable with the product and to achieve the sensual stimulation desired. You can also look out for toys that are ‘beginner friendly’, or ‘suitable for beginners’.  

The exception to this advice is when purchasing your first kegel, duo or ben wa balls. For these toys, we recommend starting larger (around 1.5 inches in width) and slowly decreasing the size of the balls. The larger balls are easier to hold inside your vagina as they stimulate and strengthen your pelvic floor muscles.

If anal penetration is new to you, it is best to explore and experience it first with your own or someone else's fingers.

Once you feel comfortable, try a butt plug, small prostate massager, or anal stimulator of similar size, ensuring it has a flared base, secure handle or retrieval ring to prevent it from getting sucked inside you. From there you can experiment with a variety of sizes and shapes. Insert your toy when your anal muscles are relaxed, using plenty of compatible lubricant.

Remember that anal play does require some preparation, and you may want to budget in an anal douche.

Sex toys are available in a wide variety of materials and textures.

For beginners trying insertable toys, we recommend soft, pliable materials that will be easy and gentle to use such as flexible silicone, rubber or realistic feel TPE and TPR.

As you become more comfortable and adventurous, you may want to try sex toys made from ABS plastic, glass or firmer silicone. These toys are generally harder and offer little to no flexibility.

Some porous materials will also absorb bodily fluids, so in general we recommend against sharing them, and you may want to consider using condoms with your penetrative toys.

For more information, view our Guide to Sex Toy Materials.

While any toy can be used as part of partnered play, there are products and devices specifically designed for use with a partner. Vibrating couples' rings are designed to provide pleasure to a penetrated partner as well as the wearer, and couples vibrators are designed to work on all bodies, or shaped to enhance penetrative vaginal sex. 

There are also kits to explore erotic sensations together, and many bondage sets are best explored with other people.

We strongly recommend using a quality lubricant with your sex toy regardless of experience as this will assist in achieving and heightening sexual pleasure. A quality lubricant will help reduce friction as sex toys can absorb natural body fluids.

The two most common types of lubricant are water-based and silicone-based.

Water-based lubricant is compatible with most sex toy materials, however, it tends to be more readily absorbed by the skin than silicone-based lubricant so may not be as long lasting.

Generally, silicone-based lubricant should not be used with silicone toys because it can damage the material, however, it is ideal if you're using your sex toy in aquatic play.

There are also many flavoured lubricants available for oral play with or without sex toys.

For more information, view our Guide to Personal Lubricant.